By Samantha Schlemm
I’m covered in beer and I’m shaking. It’s the Thursday before Christmas Eve and I don’t want to be here anymore. My black converses are warped from all the hours I’ve put them to work, and my feet ache.
“I – I just can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.”
He studies me and I can tell he knows that I’m serious. The calm and collected girl he has come to know is gone and she is officially having a nervous breakdown. In front of me is a glass half full of liquor for sangria, the pitchers I had made earlier are long gone and I’m stuck making them by the glass now, there is no time to stop and reset.
“Come on just a little longer,” he says cheerfully, but he’s not dealing with this, he’s simply making sure that I don’t screw up, and he knows I won’t. He’s come to depend on the fact that I won’t mess up, so he mostly ignores me. But right now, I’ve never felt like this before. The tickets keep printing with more and more drink orders, and the crowd around me is tripling in size. How in the hell did I get here? It’s the year of unknowing and I can’t figure out how I got stuck here bartending. There is no stopping. There is no end in sight. Continue reading “The Year Of Unknowing”
By Brittany Davis
I have to admit I’m a glass half full kinda girl, but this past week I found myself noticing that the glass seemed more empty than it did full. The thing is, when it comes to trying to find a job, it gets tough. Watching other people embark on their journeys, and realizing that you’re still at home trying to figure out your destination. Now I’m not naive. I know I’m not gonna get my dream job straight out of college, nor do I want that, but I expected to find something.
So back to my glass half empty dilemma. I’ve been able to control how I choose to find the fact that three months after graduation I’m still unemployed. But if I’m going to be honest, it’s been getting to me. It’s a little discouraging. Makes you feel a little unqualified. Makes you feel a little ‘not worth it’ Now I know all of these things aren’t true, but it doesn’t change the fact that the emotions are. What I’m starting to remember, is that nobody can tell you what you’re worth or what you’re capable of. A lack of people wanting to employ you, doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of ability. I’m the type of person who likes to try and find the positive in things, but that doesn’t mean this is a positive experience all the time–I just like to try and make myself view it that way.
Which is why when it comes to unemployment, I’m not viewing the glass as half full or half empty. I’m not viewing it as a good thing or a bad thing. I’m viewing it as what it is. A transition period, a chance to perfect my skills for whenever that day comes. I’m viewing it as water, and drinking all the uncertainty down with it.
By Brittany Davis
I’ve officially applied to over thirty jobs. As ambitious as that sounds, I have to admit, it’s getting kind of depressing. My resume is circling the New York City area, being passed around, looked over, considered..and that’s as far as I’ve got so far. It’s a trip because there are so many opportunities out there, yet none that I’ve been able to capture yet. But I guess that’s part of the problem right? Sitting around waiting for opportunities to happen? It sounds cliche, but opportunities have to be made; opportunities have to be created–and I know that. Just like I also know I have a lot to offer, as many of my fellow un-employees probably know as well, so I’m getting a little tired of waiting for someone else to realize it too!
I know what I have the ability to accomplish, I know what dreams I want to make come true. Good things happen to those who go out and make good things happen–and I’m getting out there. So be on the look out, you’ll see me soon. I’m tired of sitting around waiting for someone to call and tell me “You’re hired!” So I’m gonna hire myself, create my own opportunities, and maybe one day it will be me sorting through the pile of resumes for people wanting the opportunity to be a part of something that I started when I wasn’t getting any opportunities of my own.
By Brittany Davis
What do you want? It’s pretty simple, straight forward, open-ended type of question, right? So why is it so hard to answer? Obviously I want a job, I want a career, I want to get my life started..but there’s so much else I’m not sure of yet. What kind of life do I want to live? Who do I want to spend it with? Do I take the first job I’m offered? Should I hold out for something I really want? What if I can grow to like it? What do I want? I want to wake up and be excited to get my day started..maybe not everyday, but most days.
I want to be the type of person companies want to hire; the type of person I can be proud of. I want to use my abilities to make a difference, to affect change, to let people know they’re not alone. I want to find someone. Not someone to complete me, but to make me better. But I want to find them when I’m positive I’ve found myself. I want so much, and sometimes not enough. I want to find success in what I do. I want to be happy. I want to work 9-to-5’s and go to happy hour; to work and still have a life. To not let my job control me, to still do the things I love to do. But I think most of all I want to stop trying to figure out what it is I want. I want to figure it out along the way.
By Brittany Davis
We wait for a lot of things. For the weekend to come, for those minutes on the treadmill to pass, to find the person of our dreams. We spend a good amount of time waiting for things to come and most of the time we know they will. That’s what makes those things a little easier, because we know we are waiting for something that will definitely come. Most of the time, our waiting has a deadline, a time frame that we know will eventually elapse. Unfortunately, looking and waiting for a job, it doesn’t always seem to have it’s perks. Especially when it feels like you’re waiting and everyone else’s ‘wait period’ has come to an end.
Continue reading “Waiting..”
By Brittany Davis
It’s crazy to think about the fact that you work your whole life to get to this point. The countless hours you spend studying and finding things to stack your resume to get the
best job. Sports. Community Service. Honors. Awards. You spend four years, but ultimately your entire life, doing whatever it takes to ensure that you will be the best candidate for the job your applying for. You think that because you’ve worked your ass off, it’s going to pay off, and it probably will. The thing is, nobody ever tells you what it feels like to wait. To apply to job after job and see no pay off. Yeah it’s a bad economy, and something crazy like 85% of us are unemployed and living at home with our parents again. You still think that that statistic is just a number; a number that couldn’t possibly include you.
I mean think about it. You got good grades, you mastered the material you were expected to master. You had the internships, you have the drive, but now it’s up to you to make it known that you’re ready. I’ll be honest, it’s a little discouraging. Knowing that you’ve worked so hard, and don’t have a job to show for it. It’s the not knowing that’s tough. The fact that you’ve applied to countless jobs and the only thing you have to show for it is the high number of e-mails in your “sent folder.” I’ve heard some people say that looking for a job, is a full time job. Turns out that it is more than just a clever saying, unfortunately it can also ring true. It’s hard to have faith that somewhere out there is a job for you, maybe not the dream job you’ve been envisioning but a job where you can prove you belong. The chance to prove that you aren’t all talk, and you have something to offer not only the company, but the world. Continue reading “Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming…”
By Brittany Davis
“Today’s the day my life begins. Today I become a citizen of the world. Today I become a grown up. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents. Accountable for more than my grades. Today, I become accountable to the world. To the future. To all the possibilities that life has to offer. Starting today, my job is to show up wide eyed and willing and ready. For what, I don’t know. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the responsibility and possibility. Today, my friends, our lives begin. And, I for one can’t wait.”
The day of graduation I had this quote on Facebook. I remember watching the episode of Grey’s Anatomy when it aired hearing the quote and reminding myself that when it came time for it to be that day, the quote would ring as true to me then as it just had. This idea of accountability. Of taking control of your life. Your actions. Choices. Mistakes. Triumphs. To see past GPA’s and honors, beyond the drama within friendships, to look over the parties and hangovers. Accountability: being responsible for what’s to come. This concept is something that is overlooked. When I first heard this quote, I was filled with hope in its’ promise. Intrigued by the complete incompleteness it had to offer me. It was reassuring in it’s lack of clarity. It didn’t tell me that I would walk out with a job, just that I would be walking out. It didn’t tell me that I was going to be sucessful, it just reminded me that I was going to “be.”
Continue reading “Hindsight…”