By Brittany Davis
It’s hard when you feel like you’re not enough. Like nobody wants you, like you don’t even matter. You want to believe it’s not true, but life is doing everything it can to prove the opposite. It gives you people that are supposed to be there for you but then they aren’t. It gives you an idea of the way life is supposed to be, and then randomly takes it back. It lets you build people up, and then makes you sit there and watch as they fall short. It keeps you stuck between memories of what used to be and dreams of what could be. It keeps you torn between the two. The past has you held captive because they were there. The present has you stuck because they’re not. It makes you wonder what you’re supposed to do when a person who is supposed to be there for you isn’t, or when they choose not to be there.
It’s in these moments when you have to try and look ahead. You try and look to the day when things will be how they should be. Whether it’s the day they wake up and realize what you mean to them or when you realize it’s too late is up to you. The choice is yours. You don’t have to sit around and wait for them to come to their senses. You have to come to yours. You deserve better. You don’t deserve to be left behind. So that’s what you do. You choose to walk forward. It’s not fair for you to be stuck. It’s not fair to be suspended in the their gravity. They were the one who made the choice, yet it was your life that got altered. They were the one who fell short, yet you’re the one still free falling. They walked away, yet you’re stuck standing still. How does that happen? How do you do everything right and still get the short end of the stick? How are you stuck watching them walk away, as they become a vision. You watch as the life around you changes. You watch as they become a stranger, as you feel the world around you crumble but this will not defeat you.
You are still here. Bring yourself back. Use that feeling of loss. Let it make you that much better. Let it make you work that much harder. Do it not to show them what they’re missing but to show yourself that you’re still here. To remind yourself to finally take what’s yours. They already had your past. They already disrupted your present. The future is yours. They don’t get to take that too. The sooner you realize that it wasn’t you the better. Let the fact that they fell short, make you strive to climb that much higher. Let it make you realize that their shortcomings don’t have to be yours. So instead of focusing on that, shift your eyes to the ones who stayed. From the person who let you down, to those who helped pick you up. From what could have been, to what can still be. From all that they didn’t give you, to all you already have.
At the end of the day, you didn’t choose to be left. They chose to walk away. They decided that your life was going to get altered. Unfortunately sometimes some decisions come at you pre-made leaving you feeling like you have no choices. But you do have one. You get to choose to not let it define you. You get to choose to want more. You get to choose to try. You can choose to move on, to try and let it go, while trying to hold on to what it taught you. Sometimes there’s no getting over it there’s just getting through it. Try.