Posted in Relationships, Uncertainty

That’s Having Expectations..

By Brittany Davis

Here’s the thing about expectations. We know that if you expect something there are really only two outcomes. You either get it or you don’t, you’re satisfied or disappointed. We expect our expectations to be met. Its the point. It’s when you expect something of someone and they let you down that it becomes a problem. When we let people in our lives, we expect them to be a part of it, we expect them to stay. But sometimes the expectation of them being a part of our life is met, but not in the way in which we hoped. Sometimes they become part of our lives by being a lesson. They become the person that never made it to our future. They show their true colors.  They show who they really are. The thing is, when people show you their true colors, it’s important to pay attention. Because once you’ve seen in color, there’s no going back to black and white. There’s no going back to who we thought they were.

That’s the thing about thinking you know someone. The reality is we only know the person they put out there, the things they choose to share and show. But can you ever really know someone? Who they are? Their intentions? What they stand for? What they believe in?  We have this ability of being so many people in a given day, to play so many different roles throughout our lives. So how do we know what’s true? How do we know which version to believe?  The truth is, we don’t ever really know anybody. We only know the people we expect them to be.

The solution a lot of people would give you is to simply not expect. If you never expect, you’re never left disappointed. If they don’t live up to your expectations, well you figured they wouldn’t anyway. If they turn out to be what you expected, you’re pleasantly surprised. And well, there’s some logic to that. Other people would tell you to just not trust anyone. Because if one day they’re going to show you a side you didn’t even know existed, what’s the point right? The truth is, there’s some logic to that too. But here’s the thing: life isn’t all about logic. It’s about emotion too. About how you feel, and how others make you feel; it’s about connections.

You’re supposed to expect things from people. You’re supposed to trust that they’ll do the right thing. You’re supposed to expect that if you trust someone, they won’t let you down. Expectations are supposed to happen. Someone guaranteeing that these expectations are actually met? That isn’t. Nobody can promise that you’ll get the outcome you want if you expect, but taking chances on people in spite of that? That’s the point. That’s what life is about. It’s about having a little faith. It’s about believing that if someone disappoints you, that they’ll try and make it right. That if they walk away, they’ll find their way back. It’s about realizing that if they don’t, to have a little faith in yourself. In believing that somehow you’ll find a way to deal with it, that this will better you in the end. It’s about having faith that maybe somebody showing you who they really are, will allow you to do the same; that by them showing you everything they’re not, you get to show yourself everything that you are.

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