That’s Friendships..

By Brittany Davis

It’s funny because when it comes to friendships, everyone warns you that in time things are gonna change.  Hearing it usually makes most of us laugh. We looked in the mirror and saw ourselves, looked next to us and saw our best friends and thought “Things will never change to the point where I’m not me, and I’m not with them.”  I mean seriously, what could possibly happen that could just destroy something that defined you for so long? How could the people that helped you grow into the person you are now, just abandon you? Or how could you just leave? So when it happens, it makes us search for answers. Maybe it was all of our faults.  Maybe we installed too much faith and certainty into our friendships and let them become our lives.  Maybe it’s our mistake for thinking that we could. But then I guess that is the problem; shouldn’t we be able to?

It makes you question since when do you have to try to keep people in your life? If they wanted to be there, they’d make an effort to be in it, right?  That’s what happens, as we get older. People change and do to that so do their lives and part of the deal when you became friends was to become a part of their life.  So guess what? Once things in their life start changing, the life you once knew starts changing too. But lets get real here.  We all know change is inevitable.  It happens whether we want it to or not and to be honest, most of the time don’t mind it.  It helps teach us things and it helps us grow.  We just don’t want it with things that we like, or more importantly, the things that we need.  Our best friends. Not the people that you talk to in passing, but the people who were there with a shoulder when you were crying. Those people are not supposed to change.  At least not to the point where they become nonexistent.  Not to the point where they become strangers.

But change happens.  And the things that we don’t think should happen do. So what do you do? Talking about it just gets you angrier and crying about it just helps you release the pain. The only thing to do is to do something that you haven’t done in a while.  Look next to you again and see who’s still there. Or better yet, the people that just came into your life. Chances are you’ve spent so much time worrying about how things were that you failed to realize how things are. Change is out of your control, but you can control how you look at it.  You can try to see that the way things worked out might make you better in the end. Maybe it makes you appreciate what used to be, so that you can finally move on and appreciate what is. Learning to finally accept that they left, allows you to try and appreciate what could still be.