Falling in love is a great thing. It’s supposed to be beautifully ambivalent. It’s supposed shock you and scare you, move you and make you better. It’s supposed to make you look out into the unknown, and willingly take that leap. To fall, without really knowing the outcome and embrace the uncertainty. But the thing is, you are supposed to land. Whether it’s on your feet or own your ass, there should be an impact; a moment where you know you’ve fallen and now all you have to do is decide to get up.
You’re not supposed to disappear into love. To go into it as two and completely meld into one. Are you going to take on some traits of the person you love? Absolutely. Are you going to become a kind of two-for-one deal? Probably so. But should your identity with them become one in the same? No. Should you lose who you are in an effort to be with them? Absolutely not. You should never become your relationship. It should never swallow you whole. A relationship is a partnership; that means it takes two. It takes one person giving, one person taking, and making the time to learn how to balance the two. Who you are should never disappear; it should be amplified. A relationship should bring out the best in you. And if it doesn’t it should make you want to find those best traits. It should make you strive to be better.
Falling in love is an undoubtedly life-changing thing, but it should never be life-consuming. A person should be a huge part of your life, not the whole thing. They should be a part of you, but not define everything that you are. Part of what makes love so incredible is falling and trusting that there is going to be someone there at the end. Whether they’re there to catch you, or there to dust you off and help you get up is all part of the journey. If you disappear into love, you lose the beauty of the experience, but above all you lose what makes you, you – and isn’t that what they fell in love with in the first place?
